Motivations, Frustrations, Complications

So my dream job has arrived; the position I want has become available. This is a great concern to me because I am no where near ready to audition for that position right now. However, if this news has done nothing else, it is assisting me in gaining a clearer picture as to where I am, where I need to be, and what it will take to get there. There are needs, such as a bass trombone. Well, let's face it, without a bass trombone, one can not audition for the position of bass trombone. There are also less than necessary tools that I think can aid greatly in my preparations, such as the Yamaha silent brass system: a mute and mini computer that allows me to listen to and record what I am playing all while reducing the horn volume that my loving wife has to put up with. The auditions come in late January, so I have time. I may not be expecting to win the part considering I am six years out of practice and have never played bass trombone before, but I believe that this challenge is a daunting one that will serve to demonstrate for me exactly where I am and help organize my efforts. The goal is no longer a hypothetical "what if" or "I could only dream". Now it is real, it has a set date and deadline. I feel that such a realization has led me to re-double my dedication to this career field. Sure, my normal cycle of career possibilities run through my head (Race car driver made a STRONG return today for some odd reason) but instead of shelving the music thing and going on the marry-go-round of career possibilities again, I find myself saying "Yeah, I could do that, but it wouldn't be as cool as being a bass trombonist." Or, I see myself beginning to adjust my fantasies around this career choice. For example, I'd now like to buy a new Shelby Mustang instead of taking the time to rebuild an old one. Why might you ask? Because rebuilding one would take too much time away from my music! It's scary... my wife says that she is sorta waiting for me to drop this and move on to the next one. Goodness knows, I understand... that's the only me she has ever known. The guy who can't make up his mind on a career field and doesn't know what he wants to do when he grows up. However... something is different with this one. Well, I suppose time will tell.